#DearMe: Advice To My Younger Self

Given a chance to turn back time a little bit, what would you done differently? What would you have said to yourself?

If you have been surfing Youtube and Twitter, you would have noticed #DearMe trending on these platforms. What is it, you might ask. Well, #DearMe is a campaign, launched ahead of International Women's Day, that encourages women to write letters and make videos with the advice they'd have given their teenage selves. You can read more about it here and watch a trailer here. 

This International Women's Day, we check in with 12 female makers, crafters and designers, and find out what advice they would want to advise their younger selves. Read on, discover them and be inspired!

1. Chrystal of DODT

Describe who you are when you were younger.

I think if my friends had one word to describe me it would be idealistic. I mean I still am and will always be, but my head has probably moved a few clouds down, and I focus more on doing now rather than just dreaming.  

If you could turn back time, what is the one thing that you will change from the past that will help you now?

Nothing really. I would have said I wish I started doing more earlier, but I think every single bit of that dreaming, rebellion, wandering led me here. Wouldn't have been the same without it.

What is the greatest and most important advice that you will give to your younger self?

Recognise the people who are good for you - the ones who are genuinely happy for your successes, the ones who will sit and dream with you at 1am at your favourite bar even when you both have to be at work the next day. Selfishly invest your love and time in these people. By pure luck, I have the fortune of having found the best people around me. But looking back, I would never have left it to chance.

2. Elaine of Alfie de Meow

Describe who you are when you were younger.

In my own little world always, a little oblivious to what's happening around me. Always sure of what I wanted in my life, but often quite insecure to go for it. 

If you could turn back time, what is the one thing that you will change from the past that will help you now?

I should have let certain things go and not let my emotions get the better of me.

What is the greatest and most important advice that you will give to your younger self?

Don't let anybody take you down - with what they say or do to you, no matter how nasty. Chin up and walk on - and half the battle is won.

3. Genevieve of The Edible Co.

Describe who you are when you were younger. 

Being in a convent school for 10 years, I was a rather shy and reserved girl in primary school right up until secondary school then all hells broke loose! Well, maybe that’s because I slowly found my voice and who I really was. Always battling with my outrageous curly hair, I went through teenage years hating my hair and hating hair salons. 

There were situations where I would storm out of the salon after telling off hair stylists when they were just rude to my hair. But after that, I would cry about it, I was super emotional.  

One of my favourite jobs till today was being a ride operator at the now defunct Fantasy Island in Sentosa when I was 16 years old. There was sun, water and lots of hot boys to ogle at! Ha. No really, it was THE PLACE to be seen and I was in the thick of it. Love it. It was my vacation job right through my poly days. Being a super die-hard Singapore Football fan, especially Fandi Ahmad, it was no surprise that I took up football in poly. When I get obsessed with something, I GET OBSESSED! I was everywhere the footballers went including when they travelled abroad. This was around ages 15-18 years old, so don’t judge me on that. But that’s me, I’m a super passionate person and so when I find something of interest, I throw my heart out and live. My 20s were dramatic and if I were to go on writing about it, it could be a biopic. 

If you could turn back time, what is the one thing that you will change from the past that will help you now?

This is a tough one as there are a couple of things I will change. Perhaps the biggest one would be to study harder! For real! My parents let me choose my path and what I wanted to do but if only I had not been so rebellious and been more book smart, maybe I could provide them a better life now. So kids, listen to your folks for they really know better. 

What is the greatest and most important advice that you will give to your younger self?

To continue to dream and don’t be so hard on yourself. No one actually knows what the hell they’re doing. Just live and let love. 

4. Imelda of Citizen Pop

Describe who you are when you were younger.

I think somewhere along the line, I had an epiphany and had a 180degree change. I used to be reserved, a huge worry-wart, excessively conservative in my decisions (low risk appetite), stubborn, super practical and loved organisation. I believed that everything could be planned, everything can be perfect, so I'd beat myself up for making mistakes. A goody two-shoes.  

If you could turn back time, what is the one thing that you will change from the past that will help you now?

This is not necessarily something I would change, but I wish I learnt the value of earlier and did more of. Be open, helpful and generous, it will eventually come back full circle.

What is the greatest and most important advice that you will give to your younger self?

I would tell myself to take a chill pill, have fun and constantly be invigorated. Ideas are generated when you're exposed to new stimuli and being a kid who was constantly focused on making the mark and getting good grades, I missed out. I lost time which I'm trying to make up for now. Key thing is: Try everything once, say yes more than no (everything within the code of law that is).

5. Joanne of The Letter J Supply

Describe who you are when you were younger.

A dreamer who didn't dare to dream beyond the safety of my comfort zone. 

If you could turn back time, what is the one thing that you will change from the past that will help you now?

I would have read more books.

What is the greatest and most important advice that you will give to your younger self?

Your life is like a canvas. Success gives the colour, and trials give your life texture. You need both for it to be a beautiful piece. Everything is a constant process. Nothing is too precious that you can't afford to let it fail. Knowing that will free you to live a life beyond your imagination. 

6. Juliana of Miniature Asian Chef by Juliana

Describe who you are when you were younger.

In my early twenties, I did what most people at that age would do; spending most of my time at work and building the career. I did not have much "me" time for myself or hobbies. 

If you could turn back time, what is the one thing that you will change from the past that will help you now?

If I could turn back time, I would love to travel more and experience different cultures. I would also be less naive and to be a better judge of people. The past has moulded me into a stronger and even more determined person.

What is the greatest and most important advice that you will give to your younger self?

I'll tell my younger self that it's very important to know when to let go of things which I cannot change, and to fight the worthy battles with courage and determination. 

7. Jun Hew of COCOLOCO

Describe who you are when you were younger.

I was naive, easily influenced, not academically inclined (I was a Humanities kinda girl), a little ignorant, crazy about travelling and meeting new people. Some of these things remain to this date, others not so much.

If you could turn back time, what is the one thing that you will change from the past that will help you now?

There's more than one thing! I wished I had the patience to listen and the courage to question more. I never thought about being an entrepreneur or starting a business with a partner. If I had known I was going to head down this path, I would have paid more attention to my surroundings, and taken advice from elders, professors, friends or basically anyone. You would be surprised how I handle COCOLOCO using my own experience and lessons learnt.

Keep calm and be focus. Never be blindsided by the volatility and thrill of something that isn’t your cause.

What is the greatest and most important advice that you will give to your younger self?

Mistakes are made for lessons to be learnt. So be daring enough to take on new adventures, get out of your comfort zone and start exploring. Life is too short to be doing something mundane. Business is all about passion and taking the risk, isn’t it?

Let me end this off with Warren Buffet’s advice: Advice for young women (and really men too): “You do the same thing a male will do. You follow your passions. You find something you love. The truth is, so few people really jump on their jobs, you really will stand out more than you think. You will get noticed if you really go for it.” 

8. Kendra of Katfood

Describe who you are when you were younger.

I was the loudest, most opinionated girl who never really thought about the consequences of my actions until it was too late. I was too blunt to ever achieve social stardom in school but I always had a few good friends I could count on.  

If you could turn back time, what is the one thing that you will change from the past that will help you now?

I embrace the person I am today and would never have become the current me if the past was any different - so no, I wouldn't change a thing!

What is the greatest and most important advice that you will give to your younger self?

Be brave and be yourself! Chase your dreams with love and passion and the universe will reward you tenfold. 

9. Li-Ann of Sack Me!

Describe who you are when you were younger.

I had a pretty well balanced child-hood. I really got it good! I was carefree for most of it, and studious when I had to be. I have been fortunate to be surrounded by a loving family and a good breed of friends that made such a positive impact in my life. I wasn't exempted from failures, hurt or disappointment but I guess I was very quick to pick myself up and move forward. I've always been pretty motivated.

If you could turn back time, what is the one thing that you will change from the past that will help you now?

I'm not sure if I would change anything from the past, however I would have liked to have spent more time with my family growing up. I've always wanted to work abroad but never really considered that I would do it permanently and the separation from family has not been easy (especially now that I have family of my own). I realised how much of each other's lives I have now missed out on only being able to see my parents and siblings 2-3 weeks a year (if I'm lucky!)

What is the greatest and most important advice that you will give to your younger self?

You cannot choose your family but you can choose your friends. Love your family unconditionally regardless because they are the only ones you've got and choose your friends wisely for they can either pick you up or tear you down. Oh, and start a 'travel fund' much younger! So much of life's lessons I've learnt is from travelling and exposing myself to different ways of living, people and their cultures. If I had more money when I was younger, I would have definitely travelled for much longer!

10. Li Ling of wheniwasfour

Describe who you are when you were younger.

A quiet and hardworking kid who loves art.

If you could turn back time, what is the one thing that you will change from the past that will help you now? 

I know is cliché but I don't think there's anything I want to change from the past. Even though there were failures, mistakes, challenges, those were the experiences that make you who you are today. If I really need to state one, I would say please use Dropbox to backup your files! Haha my computer just crashed!

What is the greatest and most important advice that you will give to your younger self?

YOLO :)

11. Stella of Stelliyah

Describe who you are when you were younger.

When I was younger, I was pretty quiet and dreamy. I did not like school very much and I really enjoyed adventurous stuff. I would rush home after school, grab my bicycle and go exploring around the neighbourhood for hours and be home only for dinner. I guess I loved creating too. I would spend hours drawing, crocheting, or anything I can create with my hands. 

If you could turn back time, what is the one thing that you will change from the past that will help you now?

I wish I spent less time playing around and more time working or learning. I would love more work experience no matter what kind of job because every single job I ever worked has taught me something valuable that I still apply to my life and business.

What is the greatest and most important advice that you will give to your younger self?

To be more open-minded and to not procrastinate too much.

12. Teresa of Balm Kitchen

Describe who you are when you were younger.

I felt awkward when I was around 13 years old and were starting to learn how the world works. I worked part-time in Burger King and that’s where I really started to learn how to dress up. Those days the bell bottoms, mid-drifts were in and the flower belts and dewberry perfume oil from Body Shop were so in. Along with tea dances and hanging out at Far East Plaza. So I had a different life from what I was in school.

I never fit into any groups and I don’t try to be. I was bullied by this girl from my class and I was so lucky to be in the same class as hers all the way till I graduate from secondary school! I got my first betrayal from my dear friend when I was 17 and went on to cut myself which was super silly. I learnt to defend myself from the bully when I was 16 and thereafter, she left me alone. I then knew that when you don’t let others bully you and start to protect yourself, these bullies will eventually stop. Can you imagine someone coming up to you and said, "I just don’t like you, your face, your presence and I don’t know why. I simply don’t like you." One word about this person: SAD.

If you could turn back time, what is the one thing that you will change from the past that will help you now?

I wouldn’t change a single thing or event even if it’s a bad one if I could turn back time. I strongly believe that everything happens for a reason. And I try to learn from all the lessons that have helped to shape the person I am now.

What is the greatest and most important advice that you will give to your younger self?

I will say continue to do what you have been doing as you know you don’t like to be the same as everybody else and the world will be a boring place if you are just like them. Keep being unique and also have more confidence!